As I sit back and watch the snow sift down on the winter wonderland in my back yard I am overwhelmed by a feeling of thanksgiving. Initially I was thankful that my husband wasn't out in this weather. Instead he had retired for his "evening" just a few hours earlier before I woke up to Aria chatting in her crib. As my thoughts grew pensive I started to think back across this last year, as one often does around this holiday, and there was one thought that kept coming back to my mind. Faithfulness.
If there is one thing that God has reiterated to me over this last year it is that He is ever faithful. He has been faithful in giving me a husband that I have complete trust in. Over the years Roger has proven time and time again that he will work as many hours as it takes, and lose as much sleep as he must, to provide for his family. God has rewarded his faithfulness with wisdom that has proven its self so many times that I no longer doubt him when he speaks of a monumental business ventures that I have a hard time just wrapping my head around.
Rogers endless pursuit for truth has inspired me to a deep, stronger spiritual life and I have confidence that our family's beliefs will never be stagnant under his leadership.
This year has certainly had its ups and downs and once again God proved to me that he was always there being faithful to his word. When my old employers asked me to come nanny for a few months right before we moved I had no idea it was God putting things in place for down the road. At the time I accepted, thinking a little extra cash would be nice and I might as well take advantage of the opportunity as Aria was in a very manageable time of life. As it turns out that little extra cash paid the bills while Rogers business went through a less prosperous transition. This just proved to me that God would be faithful to my scriptural desire to be a home maker by providing me with work when it was needed, in a safe healthy environment, where I could take my daughter and not lose those precious moments with her.
And finally the unseen battles. The life of a Christian is not easy. Even when things look good and prosperous on the outside there is constantly a battle raging within ones mind and spirit. This year I feel as though I have been through so many seasons in my spiritual life that I could barely acclimatize. Months of numbness would be followed by a flood of spiritual fervor and revelation all seemingly for no reason what so ever. The one thing I can say through all of it was that God never stopped speaking to me. Even when I walked away from a service feeling like Eeyore "... that was the truth...I'll give it a try... probably won't work..." I was still walking away with the Bread of Life. Regardless of how I responded there was never a "throw away" sermon preached. Every time I was on the mountain God was saying "I'm right here with you" and every time I was in the valley God was saying "I'm right here with you". Faithfulness.
With all of that said I think I have nailed down my new years revolution. I pray that in this new year, regardless of my feelings, I will show my self faithful and steadfast. To my God when the valley is upon me. To my husband and daughter when I find them slightly less lovable. And to all of the people I interact with everyday. Even when I don't understand or agree with their actions, convictions, or words. I pray that I'll be faithful to the standard of truth, love, and steadfastness that God has called me to.
