Writing has always been cathartic to me. And I have so say it has taken me quite a while to sort through the pain of losing someone who was the closest thing I've experienced to having a little brother. So many wonderful things have been said and I know that I lack the words possible of expounding upon Levis undeniably Christ-like character. So this I suppose is for the sake of my own comfort if nothing else.
I wrote a poem "Borrowed Angel" just a few months after Aria was born. I remember experiencing something that I wasn't prepared for. Something that no one warned me about. It was an inexplicable undeservedness. God had reached down and handed me a treasure from whom an awe inspiring light had just barely begun to show. Even at this tiny glimpse of splendor my heart was won and God gave me a love that I had never known before. As I held this tiny beautiful life in my hands I was abruptly over whelmed with the realization that my hands were utterly too small and feeble for such a treasure. So I found myself clutching my child to my chest in the natural, while simultaneously thrusting her into the hands of God with all my heart, mind, and soul.
This is the great conundrum of being a parent. Going against the very fiber of our natures that scream “Protect! Keep! Shield!” and every single day placing your child in the hands of God knowing that by doing so you are also giving your heart into His keeping. The day that Levi’s precious light had grown too bright for this world was the day that God caught him up in His hands and took him where all of God’s treasures deserve to be. However by taking Levi God also took a piece of the hearts of everyone who loved him. For those who loved him the most, the void is greater. For his Father and Mother, it may be unimaginable.
There is a song we sang at Arias dedication called “Help you find your wings” and these are the lyrics.
Its only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I'll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I'll want to know
You're walking in the truth
And if I never told you
i want you to know
As I watch you grow
I pray that god would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings
May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more he memories
Its not living if you don't reach for the sky
I'll have tears as you take off
But I'll cheer as you fly
I truly believe this is how Bruce and Mendy raised Levi and the countless stories of his Christ like character are testament to that fact. Levi was walking in the truth and heavens plans unfolded for him exactly as they were meant to.
Although we are racked with tears of both joy and sorrow as we watch you fly Levi, all of our comfort is knowing that you fly into the strong, capable hands of God and someday we will be reunited with a piece of our hearts when we see you again.